WHAT IS A BLOG

Je voudrais poisson dans le croissant puis mil-neuvecent-quatre-vint-dix.

I have to admit that your new hat is very sheik.

Join the book club!
As an introductory offer, we’ll send you the following books absolutely free:

Eat, run, stay fit and die anyway
How to seem intelligent
There’s big money in staying put
Peace of mind by losing complete control 16 hours a day
Your thighs control your life
How to filet a panda
Rid yourself of doubt; or should you?
Chances are your sister’s full of shit
How to give yourself a complete physical without getting undressed
64 good reasons for giving up hope
Why jews point
A hundred dead people nobody misses
Back-packing for shut-ins
My dog is a real fruit
Your shoes are worth money
Reorganizing your pockets
What to wear on the toilet
124 simple exercises for the teeth
The stains in your shorts can indicate your future
Tips on getting laid
Self-mutilation as an attention-getter
600 ways to give people the shaft
Tremble your way to fitness
You give me 6 weeks and I’ll give you some disease

And if you join today, we’ll send you the following books absolutely free:

Poems for the insane
A treasury of poorly understood ideas
Apartment hunting for devil worshippers
A complete list of all the things that are still pending

And these books on food are yours:

The inter-venus cookbook
The meaning of corn
Fill your life with croutons
The food-colouring diet
Cooking for the paralyzed
Cooking with heat

And if you join today, we’ll send you the following books absolutely free:

Controlling fear without getting frightened
Things no one can help
Understanding people you’ll never meet
Six ways to fuck up before breakfast
Marriage for one
I suck, you suck
Let’s change the alphabet
Famous bullshit stories
Sport-fishing with power-saws
Why Hawaii and Norway are not near each other

And if you join today, we’ll send you the following books absolutely free:

A list of people who mean well
Don’t throw away your old skin
10 things we don’t know yet
Caring for the seated
The wrong underwear can kill
Trotting across Zaire
Why it doesn’t snow anymore
The complete list of everyone’s personal effects
6 cities no one has ever been to
I gave up hope and died and it worked
Famous people who were wiry
The lives of 6 extremely short saints
Anna-Mae Wong’s tits are made of aluminium

And if you join today, we’ll send you the following instruction books absolutely free:

How to do everything at once
How to give people your best regards
How to spoil other people’s fun
How to kill a rat with an oboe
How to organise a Tupperware gangbang
How to wave goodbye without moving your arms
How to spot truly vicious people in church
How to get back from Boston
How to lease out the space inside your nose
How to get a tan with a flashlight
How to start a range war
How to spot a creep from a distance
How to give a king a really hard time
How to kill your nephew
How to become a grease-ball
How to turn unbearable pain into extra income

So call now, right now! Join the book club today!

I think I just had deja vu.

I think I just had deja vu.

The beauty of the dog is in the eye of the horse beholder.

http://www.discoveritalia.it/agenda/schedaEvento.asp?IDevento=4421&lingua=it

Of who the constelation pegasus has hidden the cheese, in a kick 1 centimeter below the left porkchop, the most important with. Hm yes.

Broccoli of the time/space conflictuum and other things that end in uum. Like vacuum or cow.

I think that instead of our usual hand dryers, we should have little blowing hamsters which we'd use for the drying of the hands with.

If Graham goes out on a bender (mind you, not a blender - that would be silly) with his mates on friday night, gets totally hammered on beer, then his mate is a lot more loaded than Graham, and comes up to him and pissed all over Graham, do we have a Golden Graham?

METUDUS SATANIKUS WORLD TOUR DATES

NOVEMBER
30/11/03 - Coimbra, Portugal - The 30-something Student Joint
31/11/03 - Lisboa, Portugal - Town Hall

DECEMBER
01/12/03 - Leiria, Portugal - Telmo's Bar
02/12/03 - Guimaraes, Portugal - The Barrel night club
03/12/03 - Lisboa, Portugal - Jamaica
05/12/03 - Kingston, Jamaica - Portugal
07/12/03 - Mealhada, Portugal - Joe of the Sucklings
08/12/03 - Beja, Portugal - Comrade's Corner
09/12/03 - Lisboa, Portugal - Trinity Beershop
10/12/03 - Setubal, Portugal - Dancing Club, brothel
12/12/03 - S. Salvador da Bahia, Brazil - Bean discotheque
13/12/03 - Salonika, Greece - Syphillis club
15/12/03 - Brisbane, Australia - The Prawn
15/12/03 - Aarhus, Switzerland - Max's Yodeling Club (same day, different meridians)
16/12/03 - Paris, France - Paris, Texas
17/12/03 - Frankfurt, Germany - The Sausage
18/12/03 - Cologne, Germany - The Sausage
19/12/03 - Berlin, Germany - The Sausage
20/12/03 - Dresden, Germany - The Jewish Sausage
21/12/03 - Carlsberg, Denmark - The Night
22/12/03 - Heineken, Denmark - The Dwarf
23/12/03 - Häagen-Dasz, Sweden - The Unhappy Fjord
27/12/03 - Fjarfjkallard, Norway - Bingo Club
28/12/03 - Palermo, Italy - Mafia
29/12/03 - Rome, Italy - Spaghetti Club
30/12/03 - Björk, Iceland - Fake Fur
31/12/03 - Faroe Isles - Central Coffeeshop (big New Year party)

JANUARY
01/01/04 - Los Angeles, Cali, USA - Compton Hooker Bar
02/01/04 - Boston, MA, USA - Boston Tea Party Tea Party House
03/01/04 - Little Rock, AR, USA - Little Rock, Big Johnson
04/01/04 - Kahlua, Hawaii - Beiwatch Tower (1ª half - Bob Hope)
05/01/04 - London, England - Queen's Jubilee
06/01/04 - Chicago, IL, New York, NY - TRL On A Train MTV Special

FEBRUARY
03/02/04 - Pyongyang, South Korea - The Bloody Square Club
04/02/04 - Hong Kong - The Goth Chinese Man
07/01/04 - Bahama - Bermudas
08/02/04 - San Diego, Cali, USA - The Empty Plate (restaurant for anorexics)
09/02/04 - Louisville, KY, USA - tiny Tim's birthday party

(note: 1 - tickets online at www.metudussatanikus.com
2 - we will fire our tour manager on 11/02/04)

Hoover - we aspire to be a great company.

I'M SLEEPY

McQuentin, the mad scotsman, says: "I'm a bloody mess".

THERE'S A NEW BLOQ IN TOWN

I'm Brian May and I have a royal cloak covered in peanuts. Welcome to the blog

ABOUT THE FIRST LADY

(note: originally about the portuguese first lady. she is quite ugly)

Has anyone noticed the EXCELLENT job the first lady has developed during these years of bushaic presidency (or presidiary, if you like)? I think we should all give one big round of applause to mrs. dr. arch. phd. Laura Bush for her devotion, commitment and success in which she has exerted her role. Even though her role is also to provide sexual pleasure to the US president - but I don't wanna get into that... and I think he doesn't either. But moving on. A great big round of applause to the first lady.

By the way: if we give a round of applause to a Laura Bush and she's not there to listen to it, do we really give a round of applause (even if we're not in the woods?)

So, here are my wishes of good fortune to the first lady. Which doesn't make up, in any way, for the fact that she is really fucking ugly! I wouldn't trust a man to be my president if he married a basketball backboard like that. I mean, frankly, what was he thinking? Surely he doesn't find her attractive! I think she always had second interests.

What about little Bush jr.? What a fine role model his parents provide. He can't even chase hot chicks because his parents taught him to choose intelligent women instead. We don't see him running after Liv Tyler, do we? Well, I can imagine why not, actually (and it isn't because she isn't hot). These are just some thoughts.

SAVE THE MUSHROOMS

Greetings to all.
Yap, its true. We all see, nowadays, people that, for some reason or other (but mainly personal comfort), claim the right for animals not to be killed in the sense that these can provide their carcasses and muscle tissue for our energetic and proteinic feedings.

Its the famous: "Man, dont eat the little critter cause its not his fault"

Well, while these days this is one of the causes for which it has some sense dying for - then again, maybe not -, it still rathers annoys me that one of these beings - the so-called "vegan" - causes an unbalance in nature and food groups in general. But we'll get to that.

That you wont eat meat i can understand. Specially if you see that most delicious animals are defenceless. But fish would be different, regarding the use they give to their brain.
But the "vegan" being doesnt also drink milk. This seems to me like highly hypocrytical. Saying that you wont drink cow milk seems off hand, specially coming from someone that is probably going to suck his sexual partner that same night.

So the population of non-animal food eaters usually turns to mushrooms. Being the mushroom a fetish object for the newer generations - specially if its psilocylin (hallucinogen, for plebeans) -, its also senseless to base your diet (or the rest of it) on the poor mushrooms, that never harmed anyone.

Mushroom extintion will come soon, thanks to this new fungus termite called the "vegans". I forsee that within 2 or 3 generations, these beings will compulsorily be roaming the woods looking for something that doesnt almost exist anymore, while in the meantime trying to get by by sucking their toes in search of some sort of athletes foot.

And i dont see anyone standing up for mushrooms' rights! If they had mouths, they might complain, and that is why we should alert ppl to this sad and dangerous reality. A mushroom is a friend's friend.

Here is to hoping these lines will be considered for the following decades. Until next time.

It's 9/11!

Let's all party for the eleventh of September!
what? Oh, you're not supposed to party? oh. yeah...
you know, i'm not from around here.