WHAT IS A BLOG

RADIO TELEVISION OF THE YUKON

RTY - Popsicle TV

9.01am - Opening - interpretation of the Alaskan hymn by Andrea Cocksuckelli - Remix Hymn

9.04am - short break

9.52pm - Cooking show with Dr. Hannibal Lecter and his assistant otter, Squigi

10.52pm - TV Shop - includes: selling frozen food; selling ice; selling frozen electrical appliances; selling frozen clothes; selling ice; selling baby seal fur (frozen);selling ice

12.00am - Extreme Sports - includes: seal hunt; tobogan racing; seal hunt; parachuteless cliff diving

4.00am - Pickaxe Show - show for goldseekers

7.00am - Special Feature Documentary - The Ox of The Mountains

7.03am - brief break

8.00am - Special Feature Documentary - The Ox of The Mountains part II

8.03am - Sitcom - The Elk Doesn't Come Around Here

9.30am - Sports: live broadcast of mountain goat racing

10.40am - Morning Movie Session - Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter Froze

11.59am - Drama: Walker, Yukon Ranger

12.31pm - Walrus intestine special with Sargeant Kip

12.35pm - Agrarian Bulletin. Includes: how to sow sunflowers on ice, how to freeze what is already frozen, it's fucking cold, how to freeze what hasn't been frozen yet, is there only one type of land in Alaska?, Berti's tips

1.00pm - Weather Broadcast - Today is gonna be cold, cold and cold.

1.15pm - Quebec Forest Patrol Choir, whose exile request has been recently attended by the Immigration Department of Quebec, whose chairman is the excelse minister Tuktu Goak and his minions

4.00pm - Christmans for the Igloos (charity program) for handicapped eskimos and old people disposal

3.00pm - Cooking with Helga

3.30pm - Documentary: The Abdominable Snowman: with never before seen pictures of the Abdominable Snowman

8.00pm - Sports Special. Includes: field hockey played on ice with a cube; beaver bet racing; mice crushing contest

3.00am - Porno Movies: Ice Fucks; Slippery Fucks; Polar Bear Sodomy

3.30am - Tundra Shop

7.30am - National Hymn intepreted by the National Beaver Union in B flat

7.50am - Musicians called Knut

8.30am - Imported cuisine with aunt Joselia (imported)

9.01am - "How to escape the penal code" by the Porcelain Cat

10.00am - Night Session - "The Icy Road to Hell"

12.00pm - State Announcement that the sunny weather has begun

1.40pm - State Announcement that the sunny weather has ended

1.45pm - Late Night Session - "The Moose That Wasn't There"

3.00pm - Geography Is Our Thing - hosted by the Güdfjördlundsson brothers - today, the Arctic (low budget)

3.15pm - Boy Scout Manual - "It's cold and dark. Ponder suicide? (yes) (yes) (yes) (yes) (yes) (yes) (yes) (yes) (yes) (yes) (yes) (yes) (yes) (yes)"

3.43pm - 1001 ways to kill yourself in 1 minutes.

3.44pm - One more way to kill yourself - fuck... well we forgot, okay?

3.44pm - Nordic Feature Film - "Driving Miss Cauliflower"

4.00pm - Travel Guide - today, Barbados (600 suicides more...)

5.58pm - Astronomy of a group of symbolic character that in the beginning of this century defended the doctrine of longing for the good old days in poetry and philosphy - today, we study the Sun (again) (some more suicides)

7.03pm - Creative cuisine with Marylin Manson

7.30pm - Mellow Acting (and pretty much icy and depressed) by Good Bayonne

8.00pm - Uncle Charles' Igloo

8.20pm - Aqua, live

9.40pm - Origishow - show where only artists with original material perform - tonight, Puff Daddy

9.42pm - News

9.42.21pm - Aqua, dead

9.90pm - Stoning of Women Show (live via sattelite from Israel)

10.10pm - Playboy Late Night - rather warm Valkyries edition

11.00pm - Porno Movie - Space Valkyries on the Enterprise 2001 Space Odyssey Spaceship Edition (warm)

24.09pm - Rabehlay

24.15pm - "2001 Space Odyssey" by Stanley Kubrick, with Sylvester Stallone as monkey and Sean Connery as 007 + Jack Nicholson in the role of toilet paper

1.15am - TV Shop - with: selling unfermented wine; selling maidenhair syrup; selling chestnuts; selling mormons; selling ice; selling paltry-wine; selling canoes; selling Adamastor

1.56am - Grand opening of the new Trondheim sewage system

7 dam - 1 butter

8 @ - 3 packs of milk

2.40am - "It's bath time" with Hladir, the seal

3.00am - More or Less Animated Polish Cartoons: Piki, the mouse and Holki, the cat; Wrotzewsky, the sparrow and Morki, the silkworm

3.30am - Radio broadcast with Öhart Stürn

7.00am - "Rise and Shine" with Kathie Lee Gifford and her night rooster

8th - End of transmission and the station due to lack of funding
Chairman's note - I hope you enjoyed these 3 days of programming.

9.40am - "Live at the Tundra" - today, theatre performance of the Ernest Hemingay novel "There's Bubbles on the gulf-weed" - with no breaks

12.50pm - Playing With Geometry

1.00pm - Don't Play With Geometry

4.00am - Thermometer

4.20am - Children's Playtime: Uncle Charles' Igloo

4.23am - The Cricket from Antarctida

7.30am - The Locust from Patagonia

10.30am - Featured Documentary - Robinson Crusoe's 3 shoe collection of beige, marroon and bordeaux

11.30am - The Whole Truth (well, ok, just some) - Titanic: the North Atlantic or the Antarctic? - "We have the right to what is ours"

12.30am - Cops - Police cases of Quebec mounties with their nice red uniforms and handsome hats. Watch them ride their beautiful pure-breed Lusitanian horses, except for private Johnson, who has a horrible hack.

CAKES

Cakes we'd like to see:

Beetroot cake
Pinapple upside-down cake
Papyrus cake
Brussel sprout cake
Avocado cake
Guatemala cake
Too late cake
Semi-cake
Three hoorays for the cake
Tomorrow's cake
Firewater cake
Sophist cake
3 potty cake
Super-cake
Equally cake
Bizantine cake
Pineapple and tabasco sauce cake
No more cake

One thing I've always been curious about is why is it that when we're going up in an elevator, the fly comes up too?

WHO IS SYDNEY FRANCIS?

It's about time to let the world know who is Sydney Francis.

Francis is one of the greatest film directors of all time. Acclaimed by Hollywood, the general public and the critics, he is a prolific director who, even though he is just 45, has been able to cover the ground of hollywood classics of the 50's and the post-modern revolution of the 60's, through to the more experimental 70's to now.

Cult director, yes, but also a director of large budgets, Francis waltzes through his favorite genres, his not so favorite genres, and some others he might think of creating. In fact, his movies are brilliant even before they are made, such is the guarantee of quality and originality which every single work of his detains. Winner of countless awards, Francis is the only man to have won, by his own name, all the available Oscars, because he's done all the possible roles in the making of a movie, from Best Photography to Best Choreography, from Best Actor to Best Actress.

From all his cult works, we can highlight Long Way Ride Home, a western; Long Home Ride Back, its sequel, under the shape of an action packed bonanza in our times; The Revelance, awarded with the Silver Bear; Amsterdam 1995, his Paris, Texas - a road movie; The Golden Silhouette - Ode To The Sun, about the post-Middle Age Church; The Train of the Piano of the Night, a comedy with Billy Crystal, for which he got an Oscar; The Cow Claw Is a Flour Foot. The greatest western by Sydney Francis is considered to be I, Equecrates, Dance and the Revelating Knight.

Owner of a very particular relationship with the media, Sydney Francis has become equally famous for his phrases:
- "Shooting a movie or not, it's irrelevant"
- "Being here on Leno is totally irrelevant"
- "The general public is nothing in the universal space continuum"
- "The adherence of the general public is nothing in the universal space continuum"
- "I like horse races"
- "The time quantum is totally irrelevant to the adherence of the general public"
- "You're irrelevant, if we take a good look at it."
- "I like horses"
- "Women or horses is irrelevant" [about a horse playing Lady MacBeth]
- "If there are no lines, what's the relevance/revelance?"

Sydney Francis takes his love for the 7th art to the point of hating theatre. The vaudevillian actor, the popular artist, the romantic entertainer, but specially expressive theatre and mimics are the Francisian object of hatred. Francis: "I do cinema and television, but no stages".

Francis' theory about cinema reveals itself in most of his work. An author director, Francis' movies are recognizable through important holes in the plot, essential for the overall understanding of the movie itself. Much the same way, the screenplays can also be presented in a struturally wrong manner. This has to do with Francis' curious relationship with Time. The end results are fantastic challenges for the viewer.

This year we celebrate the reedition of Francis' autobiography, of reccomended reading - "Sydney by Francis (half-stop in Francis), Massachussets"

We're going to dedicate the rest of the evening to a tribute to the writer, comedian and director, António Maria Correia. Who passed away today due to a sudden and unfortunate accident that ended long years of a painful mental illness.

António Maria Correia, whose real name was António Maria Correia, was best known for his stage name: António Maria Correia.

António was born and spent most of his childhood in a small and poor house, that his parents had had built for him to live in the gardens of their huge real estate mansion.

Like many timid children, António learned early on to mingle with the crowd. Here we have a picture of 1987 where he would be somewhere.

His first work related to the 7th art was in 2005, filming people at the Birmingham Civic Center, since then renamed, in António's honour, the Birmingham Civic and Mortuary Center.

sound and voice: Anthony Hopkins (caption reads "Maggie Smith")
- He gave this certain quality... to all his films... and... it really was a quality of... a quality of needing... the money. Really.

sound and voice: Meryl Streep (caption reads "Stephen Seagal")
- He was a very dangerous man, a very dangerous director, whenever he was around there was this shattering feeling, that anything could happen... on the other hand António Maria was one of the dullest men I've ever met.

"So, Miguel Simal, you knew António Maria Correia probably better than he knew himself... what's your most personal memory of the time in which you worked together?"
- The moment when I knew he was really dead is very hard to beat.

There's a new band around... and they aren't The Strokes... their better known songs include Past Nite and The Morgan Age and Someplace and Hard to Ex-Plane... they're a group of lame ass Turkish cartoon characters called... The Different Strokes.

Anyone with a surname like Balula - for instance, Peter Balula - will always have a brother called Beebaw.

Alright, alright... I know I've been taking too long... so, here lie (if they don't decide to get up and go) a couple of thoughts, even though they are 3:

1 - Have you noticed Dave Navarro is banging Carmen Elektra? Yes, the same Carmen Elektra that was fucking - and "fucking" is a euphemism here - Dennis Rodman when he broke his big and colourful brown cock. And if this doesn't say much about Dave Navarro, at least we should clap our hands... though I'm sure he has already caught it at some point.

2 - Is it just me, or do you also find particularly weird that most people who don't drink Coke because of chemical additives are the same people who would love to see soft drugs get unprohibited? Let's all grow up healthy! Yay!

3 - Now picture this, if you will: a guy, who may be stout, sits on a subway carriage, or on the bus, it doesn't matter - but not literally... obviously on a SEAT inside the compartment... ok, from the top: a guy sits on the subway and with him, but a little later, an old woman - what we, the experts, call an "old rag". The train hasn't started moving yet and she moves towards a seat next to the guy... and then suddenly the train jumpstarts and she falls right on top of him, saying sorry and grinning (because it still is a funny situation). It may seem silly, but I think they do that on purpose! Yeah! Which horny old hag wouldn't like to let herself fall down onto a non-corrupted body? The little giggle is the perfect excuse. Fuck old people. They suck. Fucking whores.

NEW ROCK OPERA MUSICAL!

excerpts from:
"LA VACACIONE OF AUGUST" or "THE FIREMAN FROM SEVILLE"

... how Puccini wouldn't have made it
... with the Vladivostok Pill-Harmonic Orchestra

-----
(street gang)
"This is the crew that shoots first
and thinks first and shoots first
This is the crew that shoots first
and thinks first and shoots first
This is the crew that shoots first
and thinks first and shoots first
This is the crew that shoots first
and thinks first and shoots first
This is the crew that shoots first
and thinks first and shoots first
This is the crew that shoots first
and thinks first and shoots first" x5

-----
(with robotic choreography, silhuette)
"Kindness,
where arth thou, kindness?
Ah ha-ha-ha, oh... ha-ha-ha-HA
(starts walking to a door of light on our left...)
Mango,
mango, pear and orange;
Banana,
my house up in flames"

-----
(lady on the window's lament)
"Pubic
pubic on the plate
thursday on a sunday
make tea in a shoe"

-----
(jingly rap from the young man on the town square)
"Yo man, it's 10 cents a cookie
plim-plim-potty
kitchi-kitchi-ya-ya-chimney
society isn't civil, it's social
society isn't social, it's civil
down with the system, i want pot
smoking garlic is good for your heart
down with the respiratory system
i'm gonna win over this life, yes
me and my yellow dungarees"

-----
(rock-n-horror)
"I'm a radical young ma-an, (tchan-tchan.)
I wipe my ass with the newspa-per (tchan-tchan.)
and as I only shit on sundays (tchan-tchan.)
I need to use the New York Times."

-----
(street gang)
"The old hag is senile
your grandma lives in a kip
she can hardly breathe
she doesn't even leave to take a leak
and when the piss is so much
that it gets to her tush
she takes the corkscrewer
and makes a little hole with it"

-----
"Big gay guyyyyy....
I just met a great big gay guyyyyy...
I was gonna reduce him to ashes
but he was more into bright colouuuuuuurs"

-----
"I'm an Australian atheist, I don't believe in the Easter koala
- He's a pigmey of my imagination"

-----
"He slept like a rocky rock
but I can't sleep
My dog keeps running away"

-----
"Dandruff,
it's white and it floats on the air
people call him Casper
he's a friendly ghost"

OOOH OOOH! What about a skydiving society? You know, just a working regular society on parachutes and falling from the sky? Or, just a bunch of people that put their hands together and form a circle of skydiving lawyers or something. Enphasys on "or something".

I don't know what all the fuss about hierogliphs is about... They don't keep any ancient egyptian secrets of a lost civilization - and, if they were secrets, they wouldn't be written there, would they? It's really nothing special. Look here:

"Dear Ramses, how are you? I am fine. I'm planning to get married. How are your petunias? There are lots of roman and spanish tourists around here! You should drop by to take a look. Yours, Ishmael"

After a week of non-production, i'll just ask something: why not create a type of grape mixed with an olive? It would be perfect for a martini